Word of the day: regale: to splendidly and luxuriously entertain or serve, a word traditionally used for meals.
Bonus word of the day: myriad: ten thousand, or more generally, a fuckton.
First things first: a bit of backstory: A long time ago...in our actual galaxy where we live now, and you're on the Internet, some people discovered a wormhole of some kind and jumped to the galaxy of New Eden. they named the fist newly discovered system... New Eden. Fast forward a couple dozen millennia and the passage between New Eden and the milky way collapses, stranding all the former colonists in their new home. Another few millennia after that, capsuleers like you and I are doing all kinds of crazy things in EVE. Short enough an explanation for you? Okay, let's move on.
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| The EVE gate, as I saw it |
My corp buddy and blog reader Toyla had regaled us with stories about how you could see the anomalous gigantic star from two systems over, and the myriad of containers dropped by visiting pilgrims, touting slogans as varied as they were numerous.
The plan was to get from Amarr to New Eden, so we all jumped in small, fast and cheap ships, since the... OY! Toyla! I said cheap! That thing is worth over 50'000'000 ISK, and there's a good chance we'll get gatecamped on our journey. Well okay, fine, it's your money...I'll just stick with my stripped Speedy Gonzales, a ship so cheap It's worth five times less than its volume in Tritanium, even when packaged. (no seriously, I did the math).
As I was saying, the plan was to go from Amarr, Toyla made us a fleet, and we started travelling. then we hit a small snag:
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| Indeed, since we'll be going through lowsec anyway, it's about 20 jumps faster to take the shortest route |
"You! Cesare! Go scout ahead, and tell us if you get exploded"
...That sounds like a terrible plan. Why did I ask him to take charge? Well I am in the cheapest ship of the three, and my implants are not too expensive either, so it makes sense. So we hop hop hop from one gate to the next, not encountering any resistance on the way. No gate camps, only a handful of reds here and there, also just travelling along.
Some people even say hi and bestow blessings upon our sinful capsuleer souls as we approach the holiest place in EVE.
Being the scout, I double-jump ahead (little TF2 joke) to the New Eden system, and I'm greeted by a toon in a very ceremonious manner:
The second thing of note after those peculiar greetings is that the Eve Gate star-thing isn't taking up the entire screen, and wasn't visible at all from nearby systems either. Toyla, what gives? He swears it was like that when he first visited in April 2012. Well, nonetheless, we start approaching the star-like celestial anomaly...well Jackus starts approaching it, going much faster than the rest of us thanks to his MWD at 4km/s, so we trod along just wait for him to get 150km away and repeatedly warp to him. We do this for a while. And then another while, quickly noticing that the anomaly is not getting any bigger in our field of view, no matter for how long we approach it.
Sorry for the jitters. Encoding troubles. Thank Toyla for the voice acting
I started recording video about 10 minutes after we started approaching the anomaly. The end result? Well see for yourself: 16 minutes of the most boring footage ever recorded in any galaxy, at 666% speed for your viewing convenience.
After we gave up trying to get to the EVE gate and reach spiritual enlightenment, Jackus decided to troll another little pilgrim by following his through jumps and telling him to wait for him in local...so much for a religious epiphany. I of course did not partake in such unscrupulous behaviour (because I didn't even have any guns equipped).
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| Oh, and there was a huge gate camp at Djimame on our return trip, but it was on an outgoing gate so we were fine |
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